Maybe you are planning a LOTR or Hobbit inspired wedding, maybe you want to create the most awesome birthday party ever, maybe you are just bored and looking for something to read over a cup of tea. In any case, you’ve come to the right place. Today’s post will be a brief introduction to the dauting but exciting world of nerdy event planning.

Highlights from Patty and Logi's wedding.

Above is a sneaky peak into some of the highlights of our magical and very DIY’d Hobbit wedding. I will do my best to post about how I made/found/organised the party and decorations, hoping that it will help you get started and find inspiration if you ever decide to celebrate like a proper Hobbit. These are the resources I wish I had when I was planning my own wedding. Of course, feel free to ask any questions you have on the chat below, I’ll be more than happy to help :blush:

The theme and inspiration

When we started planning things, we knew we wanted to have a themed wedding, and had several different themes in mind: Pirates, Vikings, Gothic, videogames, general fantasy… But I had been fairly obsessed with LOTR for a while, and we thought it fitted perfectly, since we both love eating, good live music, being cozy, nature and adventuring. If you decide to go for an unconventional wedding, explore different ideas and choose something that resonates with you and your partner, it will make things a lot more interesting!

Side picture of man dressed like Gandalf a staff, only showing the top half of the body.

You will also need to decide on the level of involvment in the theme that you will want your guests to have:

  • Option 1: Only decor in theme
  • Option 2: Bride and Groom in theme + decor
  • Option 3: Bride, Groom and wedding party + decor
  • Option 4: All guests in theme + decor

The more people needing to be in theme, the more difficult it might be to organise, especially if it is very set on a particular type of costume. In our case, we suggested people to wear anything they wanted within the realm of fantasy, but explicitely saying that the theme was LOTR. We also said that if anyone didn’t like the idea of wearing a costume, they could just bring some comfy clothes and enjoy themselves. This created a really interesting mix of outfits, with plenty of people adhering to the main theme and most of the others coming as different fantasy characters (like fairies, werewolves, medieval soldiers and princeses…), and only the one person wearing a regular suit and probably feeling a bit out of place.

You might be as surprised as we were when we realised that people can’t take themselves and others too seriously whilst wearing a costume, which means that the usual feeling of “I need to pretend I’m normal and that I’m not looking forward to taking this tight suit/high-heels off” you get at many weddings wasn’t there at all. It had turned into a summer costume party, and magical things happen when people are comfortable, relaxed and allowed to be their true awesome selves.

Bridal party and bride all hugging together.

After having our handfasting celebration, we realised we already had a few wedding “musts” in our heads:

  1. We needed to be surrounded by nature and care for it. Trees, flowers and grass all had to be a central part of it. People should be able to go barefooted and feel the grounding effect of soil under their hobbity feet. Given that nature is so important to us, the wedding also had to be as eco-friendly as possible.

Patty and Logi going wandering into the wedding gardens

  1. There needed to be enough espace for people to go a-wandering and have little adventures. We both are and have many neurodivergent or socially anxious friends, and know what it is like to feel stuck at a party where you just cannot go hide and find some espace to calm down if you need it.

Patty and Logi going wandering into the wedding gardens

  1. It had to be FUN and silly so people could relax and enjoy. This was probably the most important point, we wanted people to actually have fun, not because they’ve drunk themselves unconscious, but because the party is well worth enjoying. We discarded straight-away suits, uncomfortable dresses and high-heels, we ruled-out posh catering, we decided not to have a normal, predictable ceremony. We went out of our way all the way.

Silicon dragon feet and shoes painted like hobbit feet.

  1. There had to be food, LOTS of tasty and interesting looking food. On the handfasting day, we had asked our ten guests to bring some home-made food if they could to have a picnic in the forest. This idea worked out surprisingly well, and we all enjoyed a variety of lovely food prepared by our best friends. Obviously, translating this into something as big as a wedding was another story, and definitely one of the biggest challenges we had, but the result was incredible!

A feast worth of a hobbit displayed on a table.

  1. Music had to be unforgettable and make everyone want to dance. What is a party without good music other than a big disappointment? And what do hobbits enjoy more than a good dance (other than good food)? We decided that no matter what, we would get everybody to dance, even the ones that adamantly insist they never do it. We had to find THE band to achieve this.

People dancing and having fun.

  1. It had to be really and truly nerdy and alternative. What do you do when you don’t like weddings and you are organising one, plus you are a massive nerd? You personalise it! You think of what kind of party you would be delighted to get an invitation for and make it happen.

Wooden sign with the text 'No admittance except on party business'.

Looking for ideas

To start, I went online and started gathering a large array of websites and images from Pinterest, Facebook, Reddit, Google and Instagram for inspiration.

A word of advise would be to brainstorm as much as you can initially and get inspired by many sources. Once you get an idea for your preferred theme, colours, setting, etc, you will be able to start planning.

Some of my general inspirations were:

You are welcome to take a peak into my Pinterest boards here:

Topic Link
Make-up https://pin.it/7GQ2njZxh
Dresses https://pin.it/1PRQUpsBo
LOTR inspo https://pin.it/417ZTry2B
Handfasting + wedding inspo https://pin.it/5JlhDb66F

Useful tools

Some things that made planning hell of a lot easier:

  • Trello board: Great for organisation. You and your partner can share a board and update it, this way you can plan your to-do’s and and see what’s left.

  • Paper + pen or digital drawing tool: Sometimes it is a bit difficult to visualise an idea. Even if you don’t think your drawing skills are that good, give it a go! It will help you see what works and what doesn’t and help share the vision with others.

  • Choose a site to handle money and other gifts: In our case we used Prezola, but you can also just set up a PayPal account. Bear in mind that people will often bring cards with money or presents, so make sure you have a clearly labled and safe place for those!

  • Pinterest: The best for moodboards, gather all your inspiration ideas here and visualise them easily.

  • Facebook Marketplace and similar websites are a great place to look for second-hand decorations. We found incredible bargains on baskets, glasses, napkins, glass pots, log slices, name card holders… and we made some money back afterwards selling them again

To-do list

A hand writing a to-do list on a notebook by Glenn Carstens.

There are many example lists online with the things that need planning in advance (for example, Hitched), but in our case, since most things were hand-made and planned by ourselves, it was a long one. The sooner you start putting pen to paper, the less likely you are to forget about anything and the more interesting stuff will come up!

  • Create your budget and how much you want to spend on each of the things (it will always be more than you think!). Spreadsheets will be your best friend for this
  • Decide on an initial guest-list (take into account not everyone will be able to make it)
  • Find and book the venue
  • Register your intention to marry and book the registrar (we got legally married some days before the celebration and did a custom ceremony without registrar)
  • In our case, make a website with all the info (QR code in invites)
  • Make or buy invites, send them
  • Nominate the bridal and groom’s parties
  • Nominate a maid of honor and best man
  • Check if the above need prodding to organise the hen and stag-do’s (especially important if you have neurodivergent friends)
  • Get confetti - Check with venue if it needs to be biodegradable
  • Arrange photographer - Ideally 1 or 2 photographers and a videographer
  • Prepare a photography competition if you want to have extra photos
  • Create an online album for guests to put their photos
  • Get a photobooth
  • Arrange the cake
  • Make/buy a ring-case
  • Buy rings
  • Bouquet and venue flowers
  • Arrange setting-up before/tidying-up afterwards
  • Book the band
  • Create a playlist
  • Choose or design your ceremony (if not done by registrar)
  • Bride and groom outfits
  • Bride and groom party’s outfits
  • Table decorations
  • Crockery, glasses, cutlery, napkins
  • Arrange food/catering
  • Prepare the Vows
  • Arrange table seating
  • Organise drinks
  • Make/buy Wedding favours
  • Wishing well/guest book or in our case, a wishing tree
  • Other entertainments
  • Thank you cards for the guests
  • Plan how people can contribute and make presents list
  • Plan the honeymoon (I can’t recommend New Zealand enough!)

Picture of a wooden stick with paper signs in arrow shapes, containing middle-earth names.

I will do my best to create blog posts to elaborate about many of these topics in the near future, you are welcome to acompany me in this adventure!